The Delhi Principles

# The parking lot where your bike always gets punctured will have a 24 hour repair shop, with a guy smiling very mysteriously.
# Beggars will hold out cups with "I'm lovin it" and "Yeh dil maange more" written on them.
# Red lights mean GO. Green lights mean stop to check a message on the mobile. Amber is a nice girl.
# You are responsible for saving the life of every suicidal maniac who has a license. The city is full of such maniacs.
# Madras is a vast, unexplored country (akin to Africa), spreading from somewhere in Maharashtra to an unknown boundary further south - ending probably close to Sri Lanka. The inhabitants are called Madrassis. They are generally stupid, dark and eat banana leaves cooked in coconut oil.One of them invented saauthindiyaan food.
# The history books are wrong. The people of Delhi are not Indians. They are Chinese-Americans. They eat Chinese food and behave like Americans.